English Swap
by Sabilandako
Summary: America definitely did not expect this. Nor did England. To be body-swapped with the other was just pure hell.Of course,don't forget the other nations that were constantly making them annoyed. Don't also forget those awkward 'personal' issues, annoying brothers, and weird skills. Could the two English speaking nations still make through all of that with their sanity still intact?
1. Prologue

**So hello! Sabila here, making another story. Hahah there's actually a reason behind this story, if you don't mind me sharing.**

**I actually got a massive writer's block since three weeks ago, and since I am incredibly insane whenever I couldn't write, I decided to write this. This is the easiest plot I could think of, hence, the story is born.**

**I know the plot is over-used, but hey, at least it'll help me overcome this damn writer's block.**

**hahaha so yeah, read and enjoy (hopefully).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

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**Prologue :D**

America was having a good dream, a dream where he was happily swimming on a pool of hamburgers and milkshakes. Then in the middle of his swimming, a monster with thick eyebrows, strong British accent, and a feminine but cute face-(wait! The hero's getting distracted!) came.

America dived out of the heavenly pool, and he jumped in front of the British monster. The monster growled, and the young hero unsheathed his blazing gun in reply.

He aimed at the monster's pale, pinkish, and drool-worthy-(he's getting side-tracked again!) chest. And before he could get distracted again,he pulled the trigger.

The monster emitted a scream, a very realistic scream, once the bullet of heroicness met with his chest.

And the scream made the hero wake up.

* * *

America woke up with a start, and he sat up straight on his bed, panting and sweating.

"What the hell was that scream?" He groaned as he shuffled away from the bed. once his feet touched the cold floor, something instantly clicked inside his mind.

'Strange, did I get shorter or something?' He thought curiously as he shakily stood up. Everything was strange, including his body which felt very foreign now.

Only then had he realized that he was in England's room.

'Weirdness number two: Why am I here? I was supposed to be in the guest room. Oh wait. I had accompanied England on his drinking escapades. But that didn't explain anything. He should be here on his bedroom, not me.'

America mused, but another scream near him made him forget his thoughts. He ran towards the source of the scream-the guest bedroom, where he should be probably in the first place.

The scream came again, this time more ballistic and louder. With that, America ran faster despite the fact that his body was protesting out of weirdness.

When America reached the room, the screaming subsided, but it was replaced with silent hiccups and sobs.

"England! Open up! What's happening?!" The American banged on the wooden door.

'Weirdness number three: there's definitely wrong with my voice. It's huskier than normal.'

"GIT! SEE FOR YOURSELF!" England screamed back.

'Weirdness number four: Iggy's voice changed too.'

America swallowed deeply before placing a shaking hand on the doorknob. Something was definitely wrong to make England sob like that. 'England never really cried at all.'

And when the young nation finally opened the door, he almost fainted on the ground.

For he saw a man; tall, well-built, honey-wheat colored hair, and azure blue eyed man; on the bed, and that one looked ready to kill.

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**SO, the prologue's done! I know it's a bit short, but hahaha, blame my writer's block.**

**And before you complain how awful this story is, I would like to say sorry first.**

**My writing skills have been a little bit rusty these past few weeks, so this chapter took all of the damage.**

**Don't worry though, I'll make sure the next chapter would actually be readable.**

***I'll update my other stories after I finished suffering this writer's block..**

**Haha reviews? And tips on how to destroy this freaking block? :D**


	2. Clothes and mirrors

**Hello! Before you skip this part, let me tell you something important. And I really did put this on top so you could notice it first.**

**Haha so okay anyways, let me remind you that whenever either of the two would do something concerning about a body part, just like this,**

**"America put up both of HIS hands in surrender."**

**That just means that England's hands were the one raised. America was after all swapped with England. So yeah, just to avoid confusion.**

**So you could now ignore this part.**

**I am STILL trying to recover from writer's block. So in advance, I would like to say sorry for this chapter. :(( I hope you understand me. And sorry if this is short. :(**

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"We're swapped..."

"I know, now shut the bloody fuck up and tell me what happened last night..." England growled, making the growl sound weird instead of scary because it sounded so foreign with America's voice.

After America found out that he and England were indeed swapped, he managed to make England go down the living room to talk. But it was not easy as England was super grumpy; he had cursed the American using his pirate tongue, he had kicked America on the shin (which the Briton regretted doing so as America was trapped inside HIS body.) The Briton with an American body also choked America, which he also regretted. Let us just say that England was on one of his foulest moods ever.

And now, the two were seating face to face on the long couch at England's living room. America was ruffling the blond messy hair on his head out of curiosity as France always told them that England's hair was rough as hell. But surprisingly, it was soft as heaven. England, however, was glaring at him for messing the messy hair even more.

"Tch. No need to be grumpy about it. Frowning doesn't look good on my face. We need to analyze the situation first." The American said as he put up his hands up in mock defense.

"Hmmp. Looks like some of my knowledge were passed on to you." England grumblingly replied with a roll of those baby blue eyes.

"Come on, Iggy. Don't get my boxers in a twist. Okay, so I woke up with me inside your body. And it's still morning, stop thinking those perverted things."

"G-git! Wh-what are you talking a-about?! Are you implying s-something, p-prat?!" England screamed with a large blush covering his cheeks.

"Whatever. But, the same goes for you. We were body swapped, including our abilities. You're drunk last night. Maybe you used some weird magic again. Man, this is so bad. When will we be normal again anyways?" America retorted back after being amused on the blush covering his original and handsome face. Although it was destroyed as England was frowning.

"W-wait, why is this bad? For me, this is tragic, but you're lucky you're inside that body! And actually, this magic takes place about weeks, since I don't know which magic I used." England ranted.

"Hahaha! Look, how could I act as the hero when I'm stuck inside this small body? Hahaha! And I can't cook anymore. You're the one who's lucky, you know?"

"My cooking is perfectly fine, you git!"

And so started their normal banter.

That was until they realized that there was a world meeting starting at noon. And it was already 10:00 in the morning.

"Bollocks! We need to get ready! Take a shower, and I will ready our clothes. Go! Don't just slump there!" England scolded as he saw America making no move to get up. And not maintaining a good posture much more.

"Hey! I want to pick the clothes this body will wear! Hahaha and I'll also pick the clothes you'll wear!" America goofily said, making a prompt to ignore England's ranting.

"That's hardly fair! You're choosing for the both of us?! Remember this twat, my body still needs to look presentable!"

The American pouted in response, which could be seen as cute as it was placed on the Brit's pale face.

"Uggh. Don't use that pout on my face. It looks weird."

America pouted much more.

"Geez. Okay fine. Go look for clothes you could wear in my wardrobe- Hey! Come back here!" England shouted as he ran after the fleeing American towards the master's bedroom.

England was still not used in America's body, so when he finally arrived at his room, he saw America rummaging through his cabinet.

"Dude! I never thought you wore this kind of things! France was right! You were a punk back then!" America laughed as he flashed a black sleeveless shirt with ripped designs and a tight skinny jeans stripped with threads and chains.

England blushed heavily as he snatched away the articles.

"Sh-shut up! Don't touch this!"

"Ahh. Okay then. Let's make a deal, I will pick the clothes I will wear and you will pick the clothes you want to wear. Hahaha, what a heroic plan!" The American laughed again as he snatched back the clothes.

England sighed. "Okay. I will let you wear that, but wear a jacket! I would not like my body to catch a cold. You hear me, my body, not you!"

America guffawed but put up both of his hands in mock surrender.

"Okay fine, old man. I'll go take a shower." He said as he grabbed some undergarments, the clothes, and a towel.

When America was already taking a shower, England took his sweet time to plot some revenge. He picked from his old wardrobe some clothes which he was sure that America would despise. Time to pay back the American for choosing such clothes for England's body.

He then chuckled silently before taking a shower on the second bathroom.

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When England descended downstairs on the living room, all prepared, he was surprised to see America posing in front of a mirror. And it looked ridiculous when you saw England's body doing it.

"Hey dude, I look freaking hot in these clothes~" America sung, not taking his eyes off the mirror.

The younger nation had really wore those clothes, with the addition of some leather jacket he saw inside England's wardrobe. (Let's just say that he ransacked again that cabinet.)

England blushed as he heard those words.

"You do realize that is my body, right?" He awkwardly said.

"So? Hahah at least it'll look sexier with my personality!" America laughed as he posed again, those emerald eyes trained on the petite body.

'Oh god, did I really say 'sexier'? Oh shit. Awkward.' America blushingly thought as he finally turned to see his body that housed England.

And he screamed while the Brit stifled a laugh.

"Dude, what the bloody hell are you w-wearing?!" The hero screamed as he pointed a shaking finger towards his original body.

England raised a thin eyebrow before slightly smiling.

"These? It's just a payback for choosing those clothes." The older nation explained as he dusted the long-sleeved polo, vest, and sweat pants America's large body was currently wearing.

"Take that off! You're ruining my reputation!" The younger nation begged as he tugged on the clothes.

"Then take that off too! France would make me die in embarrassment with that clothes!" The once-emerald eyed man retorted as he slapped America's now smaller hands away.

America pouted with this.

"No. I look cool with these clothes!..." He then pondered about something.

"Hmmmm. So let it be then. Just make sure that we explain that we're swapped, so at least the others know that you picked those clothes to wear." The American childishly huffed, before turning towards the mirror, presumably to see the cute pout placed on the Brit's face he now wore.

'YOU look cooler? That's my body, you twat.'

"Okay fine. Let's just get some breakfast on the way." England tiredly said (all the while hiding a blush from America's comment), before straightening his clothes. He walked gentlemanly towards the door, (which was weird if you saw America's figure doing that) with an excited America skipping behind him. (Which was also weird if you saw England's body doing that.)

* * *

Everybody was already on the meeting room, patiently waiting for the two English speaking nations to arrive. Well, not everybody was patient.

"They are late for half an hour. I expected America to be late, but for England? Aaargh. And he's the host of this meeting." Germany growled as he glared at the door, which was now sweating profusely. (That is, if doors could do that.)

"Ahh~ Germany, don't worry. They're probably stuck with traffic. And besides, if Angleterre arrives, so will Amerique. Amerique did stay at Angleterre's house last night after all." France piqued up, all the while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ve~ Germany! Let's have some pasta first!"

Germany sighed, completely ignoring the blabbering Italian. The meeting didn't even start yet, and there was already chaos going on.

There were fighting there, bickering over there, choking here, hitting there, and kolkolkoling near here.

Germany almost burst a vein for all the chaos that was happening all throughout the room, but fortunately, that was stopped when France shrieked, a trembling finger pointing at the double wooden doors. Everyone looked at what had earned France to act like that, and when they finally saw the source, they too screamed.

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**HAHA woooh! Done! And I know this chapter stinks! So, I am sorry again. I actually hadn't paid much attention on this as I was busy with my other stories. Sorry again :((**


	3. JUST WHAT?

**Soooooo, hello! :D I am back~ you know, I'm so lazy right now I couldn't even think of anything to say. Haha~ but anyways, here's the third chapter of this bloody story! But I would like to say something in advance; ehem ehem**

**I am sorry for this. I know that this chapter is not good, (or at least what my mind tells me anyway), but I swear, I put all of my efforts here even though it's kinda rushed. You see, I need to study at least for my final exams. Yieeessh~ I would like to update before I spiral into studying mode.**

**So, ummm haha. We're cool. Yeah... Sorry again.**

**_I am also sorry for not replying to your reviews. I promise to review to them when I get the chance. Sorry :(((_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.**

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Thy flashback:

_There was a world meeting going on that noon, but before it could even start, there was already chaos going on. The chaos continued, but that was until France screamed as he pointed a shaking finger towards the huge door of the meeting room. The nations looked at what had made France scream like that, and when they saw what it was, they too screamed._

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"Shut up! Stop screaming!" 'America' roared from the doorway as he stomped off towards the front, darkly waving a very surprised Germany off. Once he was already on the front, he put down his cup of tea on the table. He then gestured towards 'England', who was currently munching on a hamburger on the doorway, to come forward together with him.

"A-Angleterre...? Isn't it weird that you're munching on a burger and you're wearing those punk clothes and mon dieu, mon dieu, mon dieu..." France hyperventilated. Canada stepped up to calm France down. After successfully being calmed down, he fearfully looked again at the duo. His confused blue eyes then drifted towards 'America' who looked ready to kill him.

"And A-amerique...? Isn't it also weird that you're sipping TEA of all drinks and you're wearing those kind of old man's clothes and mon dieu mon dieu mon di-" and before France could hyperventilate again, 'England' walked towards him and clamped his mouth shut.

"Dude, you're really annoying Iggy right now." He spoke cheerfully before biting unto another burger.

And everyone lost their minds at what happened since the two nations arrived, and guess what, another chaos erupted.

'America' glared at 'England' before shouting loud enough to be heard beyond the fourth wall.

"GITS. KEEP CALM AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Everyone silenced at that, but not before staring at the grinning, punk clothed, burger-eating 'England' and a growling, gentlemanly clothed, tea-drinking 'America' in front of them.

* * *

'America' sipped his tea calmly as he let the nations process the explanation they had just heard. 'England', on the other hand, was playing on his phone, all the while muttering some curses about freaking pipes and birds.

After a few minutes of no one speaking, 'America' spoke, his voice having an edge to it. It was weird to say the least hearing America speaking like a murderer.

"Bloody gits... You really didn't understand what I said earlier, right?"

Everyone nodded warily.

"Gaaaah! You should listen when somebody talks! And bloody hell, stop staring at me like that! And stop bloody staring at my original body! Gaaaaah-" and before 'America' could burst from anger and annoyance, 'England' put a hand on the 'American's' shoulder before speaking towards the nations.

"Okay dudes, listen carefully. And wow, it really is weird when you hear Iggy's voice as cheerful as this! HAHAHAHA better to take advantage of this. This could be used as a blackmail. Maybe I could call his brothe-"

"You're getting on the wrong topic!" 'America' snapped as the nations looked at them confusedly and scared.

"Haha whatevs~ Ehem. You see, I am really America, and that one..." He pointed to the American body whose scowl dominated his whole face. "...that scowling guy who is currently inside my body is England, the grumpy one! And maaaaan! Stop being a pervert like Iggy!" The thick eyebrowed man pouted as he saw France, Japan, and Hungary producing a tissue. The nations blushed, liking the pout placed on England's face. But, that was really beside the point.

"Okay... Assuming that you really are America and that one is England, what happened last night?" Germany warily asked, noting 'America' who was currently sobbing now out of frustration.

"HAHAHAHA~ Last night was a BAMF!" Nobody spoke with that as they were all concentrating on how weird but cute that laugh sounded with England's British accent. And the fact that series of groans and moans out of frustration tangled with America's voice really didn't help at all. Well, that was hot... But that was again beside the point.

Okay what was the real America talking about now? Oh yeah...

"So, Iggy went drunk again last night, and would you believe that he turned into an angel?! How creepy (but hot) is that? And just ignore that enclosed thing. That was supposed to be on my mind only. Okay anyways, we got into a fight again over some food. And maaaaan, he tried to cast a spell on me for being 'an ungrateful git who likes to flaunt himself and likes to make me blush!'." The American stuck inside England's body rattled as he said the last part with the perfect way on how England would always say those things. Except maybe for the 'blush' thingy.

'America' glared at 'England' for what he said before pouncing on the British body. Soon, a war began with the two.

Well, everything explains a lot. After all, you could never see America as serious and mature like that, (and not to mention as grumpy like that too). You could also never see England as cheerful and happy like that. (Not to mention as childish as that.)

So, they were swapped after all. This was interesting. Hmmm~

"Stop fighting! England, even though you're bigger now because you're using America's body doesn't mean that you could strangle him like you always do with France! And America, just because you're more speedy and flexible now that you're using England's body doesn't mean that you could twist you original arm like that!" Germany roared as he separated the two English speaking nations away from each other.

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***Hey guys! So from now on, when I mention America, I mean the America that was stuck inside England's body. And when I say England, I mean the England stuck inside America's body! Haha although when I mention 'America', I mean America's BODY being occupied by England. Same with 'England'. It may be confusing, but you'll get used to it. Thanks!***

England huffed before straightening himself.

"I am sorry for my immature behavior. And I am also sorry for the idiot that makes my body do some embarrassing things."

America groaned at that as he too straightened himself. "Well, I am sorry. I should have prevented the old drunkard from using his crappy magic." He feigned the sincere voice the British accent was currently filling in.

And with that, the two jumped inside a fighting cloud as they brawled with each other again.

The nations sighed; this was really the normal, if you count the two swapping bodies as normal. But before anyone of them could stop the two fighting nations, Germany groaned as he turned to the cloud.

"Please stop already." He said as he mentally smacked his head in frustration.

England and America stopped fighting immediately as they heard Germany. They admitted that they were just also frustrated with themselves for letting this magic to happen. So, as a sign of offering, 'England' brought his hand towards 'America' to help him up. 'England' smiled sincerely (which made the nations coo on how handsome and cute the Brit looked like when smiling) as 'America' grumblingly (which also made the nations coo on how mature and hot the American looked when being serious) reached out to the offered hand. Once standing, the two nations shook hands as a sign of peace. And deep inside America's original body, England mentally smiled too.

And everyone was at peace again. But that was ruined when they realized that they still have a meeting going on.

Well, welcome to Germany's wrath.

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**And that ends this crappy chapter! Haha woohoo~ I really don't know what I should feel with this chapter. Haha you know... But all I could say is,**

**"I am so sorry for this." *bows so low***

**Sorry again. And reviews? I would like to hear your opinions and suggestions about this... TT_TT**


	4. Let us party

**I am back! After days of not showing up because of those reincarnated hell of exams, I am finally here again! but i am sorry for this chap, my mind is still not okay...**

**So, I don't know what to say, but THANK you for those reviews. Okay, let's answer! **

**Guest: Here you go! **

**SomethingSimsy: You really think so? Haha, well here you go! **

**And okay, let me tell THANK YOU for those reviews. Hahah especially the Shakespeare part. Haha you rock, PhylanceSimons**

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Everyone was deathly silent as Germany silently loomed on the front. Once he was already on the podium, he spoke with such voice; a voice that made the nations' blood run cold.

"All of you are expected to behave on this meeting; and that is something to be mindful of, as this meeting will last for WEEKS. Therefore, as nations, you are supposed to act mature... Do. You. Understand. Me?" He growled threateningly. The nations nodded hastily as Germany sighed in tiredness.

"England. You're the host for this meeting. Can we start now?" The German asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 'America' just nodded boredly as he was just frustrated as the German.

Once standing on the front, England started his meeting without further ado. And although the meeting was boring because of England's 'gentlemanly' way of presenting, the nations didn't quite have the guts to tune him out. It was just so weird to see 'America' on front; his voice being serious and without the usual cheerful tinge to it; his body movements being stiff and straight; vest and dull pants adorning his muscular body. It was just so weird yet it felt right. The nations actually thought that the actions suited the American's body. It was cool on some way, and it was dubbed as mature.

England sighed. He couldn't quite concentrate on what he was presenting on the front. Everybody was just staring at him like he was a prey; and it started to unnerve him. He even knew that they were not listening as they were just stuck on whatever wonderland they were happily residing now.

The Brit having an American body coughed awkwardly as he finished his speech. He admitted that he was quite flattered that the nations were actually giving him attention, but he would quickly mask it with irritation as it was not the way he liked to be stared on.

Everybody just blinked in surprise and disappointment as 'America' sat back tiredly down on his seat. But, they smiled again once they saw that 'England' was on the front now, ready to give his 'heroic' presentation.

America started cheerfully as the nations stared at him with such intensity. And since he decided to be oblivious to their stares, he ignored them and continued on his speech.

It was weird; the nations would say. Seeing 'England' as cheerful as that; his voice having such liveliness that actually complimented it; a smile making its way on his lips that the nations rarely saw; his actions being springy and bubbly. It was so weird. And those tight jeans adorning his legs? The nations saw it hot, so hot it could burn them in lust. And they would admit that all of that really fit England.

America was nervous. The nations were staring at him so much that it could turn him into a puddle of sweat. Yes, it really felt good to be stared at, but it was NOT his own body. And he was supposed to be staring too at the Brit's body had they not been swapped. He just put a smile that made the nations smile too in adoration as he finished his speech. It was so rare, after all, to see a smile adorning the normal scowling face of England.

"So, any questions?" America asked to the crowd of nations. A hand raised upward and he turned towards the direction of it only to see France.

"Yes, Francey-pants?" "Ah~ How rude... May I ask, you have taken a shower, oui?" The Frenchman asked with a smirk. That question somehow sparked the nations' interest and made the real England blush heavily.

"Yeah! Why?" The man asked with a laugh, already knowing what France would ask. The shoulder-length blond haired man raised an eyebrow with a hidden meaning, and that in return made England glare at America practically screaming 'Entertain that Frog and I. WILL. END. YOU...'

'England' just rolled his eyes playfully at 'America' while raising his voice for everyone to hear his answer.

"I was surprised, you know? With such a womanly body, you won't be dissapointed when you see 'it'. And man, such a nice ass. And a big 'it' too." The American explained knowingly while the nations laughed obnoxiously. Some of them even passed out with laughing, namely Prussia and Denmark. And some died because of lack of air.

All of that took 'America' to jump out of his seat to strangle 'England' with the nations watching with fondness, while the others tried to resurrect some of the nations.

Once done making purple marks on the British neck, 'America' straightened himself with a heavy blush adorning those cheeks. He then glared at France as the Parisian opened his mouth to ask another question.

"Angleterre, did you like too what you saw when you took a bath?" France smirked with the other nations. And what he got in return was an angry tackle from the big American body occupied by a fuming England.

* * *

After twenty battle clouds formed by America, England, and France, the nations finally settled peacefully after watching with such amusement. And besides, Germany was on the podium again; watching the nations with a murderous glint on his eyes for creating yet another chaos.

"Dummkopfs, when will you ever learn? We have wasted three hours just because of this magic failure-"

"My magic is not a Failur-"

"...and then the problems we have since last decade can't even be solved! No one paid attention when England was presenting-"

"Ve~ But Germany, you're doodling a while ago about Mr. America and his 'gentlemanly' clothe-"

"...And all of you are just staring at England's original body, escpecially his legs! You call that paying attention-"

"But West, you stared at Brow's legs too-"

"...and shut up! I didn't do that!" Germany fumed, his face flushed with pink. The nations laughed again, and the ones resurrected died again too. Nobody bothered to resurrect them the second time.

"Kesesesesese~ You know what, the awesome me thinks that all of us should just head to a bar this night! Because mein Awesomeness feels that the Yank and Brows should have a rest because of this mishap!" Prussia loudly declared. And with that, the nations cheered again.

But, there's one thing they just needed.

Germany's agreement...

"Dummkopfs... We have a meeting tomorrow..." And what he got in return were several puppy-dog eyes. And their leader was 'England'.

America apparently wanted to just slack off, so he used the power of England's body cuteness to make the German agree. 'America' just snorted, but deep inside, England wanted to drink too. And maybe, he could reverse the spell when he would be drunk.

'America' just nodded stiffly to the still indecisive German.

So far, there were fifteen puppy-dog eyes, ten kneeling nations, and twenty nations who have halo and angel wings on their back. And Germany definitely could hear Angelic songs coming from above... I mean the ceiling...

The German groaned in submission, but not before banging his head on the table. Everybody cheered.

Well, tonight would be one hell of a night...

But they didn't know it would be literally hell.

MUWAHAHAHA-

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- And, woooohhhooo! This chapter's done! And I don't even know what am I supposed to say. Hahaha XD by the way, there are many pubs in London right? Reviews? And constructive criticism is very much appreciated! :D

**AND SOOOORRRYYY AGAIN!**


	5. Worth a million of problems

**I AM BACK AGAIN! I AM BAAAAACK! I AM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING! WOOOOOOHHHHOOOOO! I AM HERE AGAIN AND WRITING AND I AM STILL AAAAALLLLIIIIIVVVVEEEE! OH YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!**

**So, hello to you guys! Haha since when have I updated? Mon dieu, I can't remember. Haha anyways, pardon the outburst above.**

**Okay, about this chapter... I honestly have no idea what have I written here. I mean seriously, I think you'll vomit because of this chapter's suckiness...**

**And I tried to update this last night, but this site kept on being mean to me! It won't let me edit the document! And Yuna, haha mukhang gumana pagkatpos mo kong replyan. Ako lang ba o talagang sugo ka ng Diyos?**

_And I would like to thank ZakuroU and Pastaaddict, because without them, this chapter would be delayed so much more! THANK YOU GUYS! YOU ROCK!_

_And I would like to agree with Yuna (TheSardonyx). Really, England is hot whatever happens and whatever he wears, and whatever you do. Reason? Because that's THE GREAT England. End of story._

_Dj Freaksta: here you go! And please tell your 2p that Im glad I met her :DD_

_Heyheyno.1 USA: Sorry for the delay!_

**Okay. Since I have no more to say, let's proceed to the story, shall we? :)**

***America= America**

**England= England**

**'America' = England**

**'England' = America**

**(It's the same as last time!)**

**Warning: lots of vulgar words, and one particular scene near the end which I know you'll kill me for. Proceed at your own risk.**

**NOTE: This chapter might be a little confusing. Just say something to me if you're confused.**

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"Loud shouts of rowdy people. Check.

Stinky and sweaty men. Check.

Wrecked chairs. Check.

Total damages. Check.

Scary men, though not as awesome as me. Check."

Prussia hummed in thought as he put away the red pen he used to mark the sheet of paper he was holding. He then turned towards the smirking nations with a mischievous smile.

"Seriously?" The former pirate stuck on the American body asked incredulously as he smacked away the wandering hands of a certain French towards his original body. The albino in question just laughed wildly as he slung his arm around England's shoulder.

"Ja, ja. That's what I think this pub looks like inside. Kesesesesese~"

England glared at the Prussian and he tiredly shrugged the pale arm off of his shoulders. Then, his glare became a smirk; one that contained mischief and a challenge.

"Oh really? Hmmm. How about we have a deal?"

"Ohh~ Sure, sure. I'll make sure you lose unawesomely to the awesome me!"

And this time, it was England who laughed loudly. The nations just watched fondly; oh how they missed seeing America laugh like that.

"Quite the confidence huh, old chap? I place my money that the interior of this pub is so MUCH different than your 'awesome' checklist. If I win, you have to pay the drinks I'll take. However, if you win, I'll be the one to pay for your drinks. Is it clear?"

And with that, Prussia suddenly looked unsure. Come on, who would know what the pub really looked inside more than England himself? Maybe Germany could give him some money? 'Tch.'

After a moment of internal debate, he squinted his crimson eyes to the oblivious Spaniard beside him.

"It's all your fault." The albino grumbled as he stomped towards the entrance, making Spain tilt his head in confusion, and the nations laugh loudly (especially England) as they too followed him.

England, however, just stayed still before he walked towards his original body that housed America.

"Thank you~" The Englishman sang to the younger nation as he passed by him towards the entrance.

Once England was out of earshot, America confusedly turned to the smirking French beside him.

"What does he mean, France?"

The Parisian in question however just laughed in reply as he guided the younger nation inside.

"Oui. Angleterre just thanked you because he knows that he could drink in great quantities paid by Prusse. Looks like our dear Brit would take advantage of your high tolerance towards alcohol.~"

And that left America admiring England's tactic.

* * *

The first thing America noticed once he stepped inside was that Prussia was so wrong about his checklist. The inside was much more better.

There may be men but they were not rowdy and they were not the type to pick some random fights. Although they were quite loud, it was their cheerfulness talking. They looked decent and respectful too.

The whole building itself had the homey feeling to it. There was a fireplace over there and a pool table on the near right. The chairs and tables were wooden and looked old but it was clean and cool, while the chairs by the window were made of upholstery.

The bartender was not a scary-looking man as Prussia said. In fact, the man was friendly and the cheerful type. The bar itself where he works was clean and made of wood, and there were some materials he normally used on his job scattered on it. Behind the bar were wooden shelves with mirror for alcohol and all the like. There were wooden and brass shelves connected to the ceiling for glass storage.

There were also the traditional beer pump handles, and some fruit machines.

All in all, the pub was great. Magnificent, even.

After minutes of taking in his surroundings, America spotted a commotion on the bar where the bartender looked busy. He then walked near the crowd, only to see an incredulous scene.

The nations were cheering loudly. And the reason? It was because Prussia, Denmark, England, and Russia were having a contest.

A freaking drinking contest.

Ten shots of whiskey. Five shots of gin. Seven shots of vodka. Nine shots of rum. Three shots of beer.

And what do you know, Denmark already vomited on Norway's jacket. And the result was not pretty.

The second to give up was Prussia, and he did that by barfing on Germany's boots. And the results were not pretty too.

And the next to forfeit was England, surprisingly. He insisted that someone named Flying Mint Bunny was calling him because of some danger. And to tell you the truth, he _really_ was still not drunk yet.

So, to conclude this contest, Russia won with a creepy smile. And what he wished for the prize was that 'Everyone would become one with Mother Russia, da?' And there he goes, running towards the comfort room.

* * *

He really didn't know what made him drink with the bad touch trio with the addition of England. All he knew was that England slung him on his shoulders and made him sit down beside Prussia.

Apparently, Prussia was sulking because of his awesome money, and Spain, France, and England were tired of hearing his whines so they dragged America here to share their misfortune. So, at least they were having random chats and were not fighting.

Now, America didn't know how many drinks he had drank, but soon enough, his head felt slightly woozy and his balance a bit off. Really, America didn't want to drink as he knew that he would soon be drunk because of England's tolerance to alcohol; or lack of. It had been a long time now, but America decided to stop drinking, as he also knew that he might do something embarrassing whilst he was drunk, especially while he was stuck inside this smaller body.

He looked around the pub, and the once peaceful bar became a living hell.

Prussia and England were singing on the stage; a song entitled 'Viva La Vida'. And America was very sure that the song did not require a very booming voice, and that the song did not contain words such as 'bloody wanker' and 'mein awesomeness'.

France and Spain were also on the stage, but they were having a strip dance. A tomato red faced Romano kept on throwing tomatoes at the two while cursing, and Spain just asked the fiery Italian on why he wasn't a full tomato yet.

A drunk Italy was strangling everyone with pasta as a slightly drunk Germany gave him the piggyback. His trusty whip was helping the pasta achieve world domination.

Denmark and South Korea were dancing too, albeit a little too cheerful and wild. And since they were as noisy as Prussia and England singing, a hand capable of choking and a wok made their presence known to the two energetic nation.

Canada, now with his presence known plus a little drunky behavior, kept on wielding his hockey stick. He was parring with Russia using his pipe. And really, Belarus was also there, using her knives to disarm _Manada._

Hungary and Japan were just videotaping everything. Be it from the three noisy closets somewhere occupied with pairings called DenNor, SuFin, and HongIce, to the scene where Switzerland managed to use his gun at a naked France for going near his sister, to where Austria was currently providing the music to Prussia and England (and yes, Austria was playing the instruments all at the same time. Don't ask me how), and to where 'England' was being hit on by men and women alike.

America inwardly groaned to himself. There were way too many people surrounding him; asking for his (real England's) number, buying him drink, or whatnots. He was sure that they were hitting on him. But not the America inside, but on England on the outside appearance.

Right now, he was cursing England for his good looks and over-all charisma. Hell, people were also flocking to his original body, but England didn't seem to mind. But America really did mind. He didn't know if he was jealous because more people were flocking to the smaller man's good looks more than the bigger man's looks, or if he was jealous because these people were hitting on who they thought was the _real _England and he couldn't help but be angr-NO. Definitely not angry and jealous.

"Ladies and Gents, why don't you go over that guy?" He pointed to 'America', "He's a nice guy, you know. And he'll accept drinks without hesitation." He told to the crowd in front of him. Several groaned in sadness and rejection, but they crowded towards 'America' nonetheless.

Once America was free from the mob, he shrugged his shoulders out of jealou- annoyance because they were still hitting on England. Even though they thought that they were worshipping the American body, it was still England deep inside. It was _still_ England who they were hitting on. So, he just exited the pub to cool his head and sat on the alleyway near the building.

Besides, it was much more peaceful here outside than inside.

"Hey Arthur. Looks like we've meet again." A low voice suddenly came near where America was sitting. He turned his head towards the speaker only to see a big man, although not as big as his original American body, walking towards him.

'Great. Another fan of England. When will these people learn that England's mine- not interested in them? Tch.'

"Hey." 'England' greeted back as he stood up.

"How are you these days? I haven't seen you in a while." The man said as he subtly towered above 'England', making America step back. Unfortunately, his back hit the wall.

"I'm okay. Now what do you want?" He growled softly; not liking one a bit how this guy kept on staring at England's original petite body.

'If this guy's a threat, I'm gonna bash his head in... Oh shit... I hope Iggy got a strong punch...'

"Woah..." The man chuckled, "Easy there, little Artie..." He continued; his hands now flat on the wall, thus trapping 'England' inside his space.

America cringed at what the man had called him, or rather, at what the man had called who he thought was England. And he was so ticked off. If this man had bad intentions, might as well teach this guy a lesson using his 'little Artie's' fist.

America opened his mouth to warn the man, but it was stopped when he felt a hand trailing dangerously low to his thigh. At the same time, the man leaned in closer and closer that America could almost hear the man's heartbeat.

America tried to push the man away, but the figure didn't even budge. The American was sure that if in this almost drunk state of his couldn't push the man away, then that meant that this guy was as persevere as hell.

America inwardly gasped as the hand on his thigh kept on getting deeper, almost on his inner thigh and near his crotch. And with that, he felt anger boiling inside him, coupled with jealousy.

'Shit. This stinky guy wants Iggy... Fuck fuck fuck fuck!'

And before 'England' could pack a punch, the figure crashed their lips together rather forcefully.

America was in complete shock, and he didn't know what to do. He felt weak instantly, and he fell to the ground when the man was suddenly whisked away courtesy of a very angry 'America'.

The man hit the pavement hard, and before he could even recover from the assault, 'America' tackled him again.

"YOU BASTARD!" Punch. "STOP TOUCHING..." Kick. "THAT BODY!" Punch. "YOU BLOODY FUCKING..." Punch. "ARSEHOLE!" Kick. "WHY DON'T YOU..." Choke. "FIND SOMEBODY ELSE..." Kick. "TO MOLEST?!" Punch. "I'M SO TIRED..." Slap. "OF FEELING YOUR FILTHY HANDS ON MY BODY!" And a last strong punch. "FUCK OFF!"

'America' instantly broke down as his eyes held a murderous and hopelessness glint to it. Not wanting any commotion and a dead body, France and Prussia instantly dragged the enraged 'America' away from the man as Spain helped 'England' stand properly. By the time 'America' was fished away, the man almost had his body dislodged on a dirty sewer. The man shakily stood up, and he ran limply in fear of the ballistic 'America'.

England was panting heavily as he used his hand to wipe away the stray tear that dared slip out of his blue eyes. America just stood completely shocked as France, Prussia, and Spain calmed the Brit.

"Wh-what was that?" America started softly as he took a step towards England. The Brit flinched at the gesture and he looked at America's green eyes with a forlorn and broken emotion.

The American frowned; hating how England looked so tired right now. Oh how he wanted to kill the man that assaulted him a while ago, but France and Prussia stopped him and England. But now, he wanted at least an explanation on what happened.

England spoke up, but it was not the answer America looked out for. He just muttered another confusing thought in par to America's own internal confusion.

"Now... I'm sorry Alfred. I didn't know that would happen... I understand if you now hate that we were swapped. It's my sucky and fucking life's fault that you have to experience that... Excuse me."

"A-Arthur...?"

But England didn't hear that as he walked away; walking again inside the pub.

"Désolé, Alfred... Arthur just has... A bad day... You see, that's his stalker, as you can place it...well, excusez moi." France softly said as he too followed.

"That is totally unawesome... Tch... Alfred, Arthur is right... This is just the beginning. If I were you, I'll just endure whatever he usually has to suffer until I'm back to my original body... You know, Arthur really has worth a million of problems..."

"What do you m-mean?"

"Nothing. Well then, see you inside, amigo... And don't let anyone touch that body, sí?"

And the duo followed, leaving Alfred thinking about what had just happened.

After a few minutes, he decided to walk back inside again, but this time, he would be drinking all his thoughts away.

And America was inside the pub's premises, only to see the Englishman drinking happily again. Well, at least England was back to normal...

'His fake normal...'

* * *

**So, I know that this is quite short, and by that I mean mini short.**

**Haha so, this chapter is a bit confusing, no? Well, just tell me if you're confused and I'll edit this chapter for it to be clear to you, my dear readers.**

_**And did I over-exaggerate England's reaction about the assault? Please tell me so! :((**_

**About the next chapter****: America will finally get drunk, and England would finally see how he usually acts when he's drunk! Maybe instead of Britannia Angel, American Angel would pop out? And who knows, maybe the pub would be destroyed totally? So, watch out also for the nations' hangovers and how would they act for the world meeting the next day! And the REAL plot will finally appear!**

**So, goodbye! Reviews will make America drunk!**

**And constructive criticisms are very much welcomed.**


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